I am, You are.

It's mind over matter.

3 days until school is finally over. Fuck! It can't come any sooner. It really can't. I don't think I could keep up any kind of fake resilience to my surroundings. I always get stressed out and my brain does this sort of short circuiting thing. I'm not much of a complainer, I hardly complain openly about a lot of things. But most of what I think is back logged in my brain and it just sits there. Sitting, waiting, dissipating.

I took my Italian and Chemistry finals today. Italian was whatever. Despite my lack of any knowledge about anything to do with the language, I seemed to have guessed and felt confident. As confident as someone who knows nothing could be I guess. Chemistry was a different story. Although my brain was on concentration overload from, 108 mg of an overload, I seemed to know nothing about that subject as well! And I actually understand chemistry. I feel like my brain would read, comprehend, and just shit it back out as fast as it went in. My friend Griffin finished the exam in 5 minutes. 5 minutes! 117 questions in 5 minutes! Oh well. I'm pretty sure I passed Junior year so I could care less about grades. Senior year is on the horizon and just beyond that is the world. The world outside of 8 hour pencil pushers, 480 minutes of ruler-to-knuckle consequences, and being cradled. If you think that school won't prepare you for the outside world your half right. They don't teach you what it feels like to lose indefinitely, or how to take care of your family who can't take care of themselves, or why mom can't seem to stop hitting the bottle, or what makes a man so desperate as to take his own life. They fill you with aphorisms, metaphors, and analogies that don't mean anything unless you have the hope behind it. School is but a building block of learning. Not the center of it.

Dance Gavin Dance is so good. The words in music are all that I am. I swear. I bathe myself in the words I can relate to. Like, finally someone feels something that I can't explain in my words.

I'm scared sometimes that forever isn't as long as I think it is. Forever is a minute as far as I know. Sometimes I wish I would fall asleep and just stay that way. Asleep. If the world went to sleep I think space would be a little quieter.