Away We Go

It was these moments that made me forget I wasn't whole.

I could fill the void for a little bit, and everyone watched me do it.

I stitched myself up for everyone to see, and no one could tell.

Cool story, Bro.

I'm doing me. If you know what that means. It's a nice change of pace. I seem to work around people when they don't even know I am, but that's just because I can't help it. In the big ways, I seem to always be a step behind, but the little things that seem to not matter are the things I take solace in making sure are taken care of.

Christmas is upon us! I bid all a good and merry one! I've never been one to be interested in presents, if anything I dislike the idea of giving out presents as a means of affection, but I still think it's a viable means of tradition and love and it should be celebrated in whatever way one appreciates it. I got a bed and a 3 drawer dresser for my room. That seems like more than enough to be honest. Plus going to New York/New Jersey/Pennsylvania like I do every year to see family is a great gift. Boy, do I love seeing my family. It's the only time I get away from everyone and everything and get to be with my family and just enjoy each of them. You should see our family at work; My grandpa is pushing mid 70's and he's stronger than most men I know. I love his broken english and how much he loves my bed-ridden grandma who suffers from Alzheimer's. My dad's grandma is a spunky, superstitious woman who grew up in the Bronx most her life and has more "moxy" than any other person I know. All my cousins, from both sides, are all a trip. They're all interesting in their ways wether it's the China bound artist, the teenage high school girls, the 2 or 3 lesbians not including my Aunt who is too. We're just a spark plug of a family to be short.

College is still up in the air. It's so fucking frustrating. I don't know what the hell i'm doing and I have to wait until next week to find a date somewhere in January to meet with my school's college planner. I'd rather go to Puerto Rico to be honest. Just disappear and explore more than these theoretical boundaries i'm surrounded by. I might take up studying film or get a a degree in teaching or study business/non profit organizations. Maybe all. I don't know yet, and I might never know. I might end up just settling with something just so I don't end up doing nothing at all.

My uncle Raul is on a eco yoga tour in Puerto Rico which i'm sure he probably started himself. It's cool because he does things like this all the time. He just does them. He's a liver. Not the body part most of my generation has succeeded in destroying the life span for, for future generations. Liver, the adjective. A life liver. He seriously just goes awol and does his own thing and detaches himself from communication. He's always been that way. I want to be with him. I want him to teach me. To broaden my mind.

I met someone! We're not like omgz serious. But we're in the talking phase. I'm going to take my time and get to know her and understand where she is at with herself. But so far, after two years of this school and it's inhabitants, she is the most down to Earth person i've met here. Thank goodness. I actually met her at a Halloween party and just recently started figuring out her name and who she is like a week ago. She's a party animal, like me. So I have a feeling we're going to make interesting memories.

This weekend. Fantasia, stationary blue, and bed sweats will fill my time.

I'm looking forward to feeling relieved of my stress and learning about Eli some more.

Yes. YES!