Ballgame

This morning is a school morning, why am I here and not at school? I don't know. I really don't. I think i'm physically acting out subconscious feelings of escaping something there. Heck if i know though. I promised myself last year I wouldn't go back to another year of that school, and now that I have to go, I remember why. It kills me, that place. At this point I know I have to go, but I know it still kills me being there. I'm just making it by. Not even for myself, but for my family, my "friends".

I have decided any pre-determined idea I had of what a friend is now obsolete and needs redefinition. Which can only be done with a friend. That is a dilemma.

My extended family left today, and I will miss them like i'd miss the sun. they're all great people, but we never really see each other. How it is with all families pretty much. I just really love seeing mine.

Last night I went to see For Today, whom if you don't know is my favorite Christian band, and it twas amazing. The link on their name is actually the show I went to last night! But I didn't bring my camera last night because 1) If it would have gotten broken in any way, i'd cry myself to sleep. 2) I wanted to be in the crowd and throwdown as hard as I possibly could, which I did and now my sore body is paying for it. I wish I could redo last night to be honest- I did somethings I want to do a little differently, but damn it if time is never a giving kind of friend.