Life Is Not a Spark In Space

Recycled Air.

As the summer progresses it is a realization to me that I have wasted it. Aside from spending an amazing week with my gf, traveling through Michigan to Ohio to spend another 3 days at the roller coaster capital of the world. I haven't done any of those "life affirming" things that let you know your happy. I mean, I am, but I want to pursue something post happiness! Even though I worried about my ending grades from junior year I didn't take it upon my self to take some kind of summer class like a lot of the kids around me. I'm not sure if this means I care less or they just care more. I don't know. I don't fret about grades because I feel I do adequate enough that they can take me where I want to go in life. The idea that my life will be vaguely laid out from some letters on a page is not quite what I expect life to be about. One month left really, then senior year. Then it's one step closer to everything else.

I need a job. The end. I want to change out of these aged clothes that have fit me since 9th grade. I blame poverty for that by the way. I want to buy some new things that make me feel new for once. I want to take my mom out to dinner. I want to treat people to a nice night without crunching numbers in my brain making sure my spending is within my budget. I also want to buy a car and run away. But don't tell. Shhhhh!