we're all found out

People often say you don't get to choose your family, but i've never been more sure they were wrong.

like the little procrastinator that i am, i am pushing off the need to do most everything. unless i'm emotionally diving into the 8 seasons of scrubs available on netflix, you can find me with my family causing a ruckus so loud i'll be damned if you can't hear it in China.

my posting was just interrupted by my friend ricky calling me. i guess "interrupted" is a strong word, but my time was conveniently used otherwise for my friend. he is a pure example of good family. we met this year in our honors anatomy and physiology class and since day 1 we hit it off. we didn't start really hanging out until recently when we found out my current girlfriend was his best friend in middle school until she graduated a year early from high school and found herself living a new life with her college crowd. but see, my family knows they are always welcome at my house no matter what time. even my mom understands i'm making the best of friends right now and she doesn't even mind.

we come to my house more so now then ever before, it's honestly so relaxing and comforting. when people come to your house it's because they want to be around you. it's nice coming to that realization after feeling so left out for so long.

the year is coming to a slow crawl at this point, the point at which senior year is finally reaching it's end when it seemed like just last week i was preparing myself for the first days of my final stretch of high school. i have great friends with me, no car, and no real grasp on what ever the hell i want to be doing in the future.

my friend daryl (the black kid with the blunt in his hand on the far left in the picture above) are planning on finding jobs soon, hopefully before school ends and starting to save up to move out before next school year rolls around. we'd buy a one bedroom for the both of us and just live humbly while we generate some profit doing what need be done for our comfort levels. we know the group will be over almost everyday, we can smoke and drink hassle free, and live like the adults we've been depriving of oxygen all this time.

my friend told me today, through a series of different conversations, that he isn't really affected by death. that when someone dies he can get over it fairly easily.

he'll never know how bad i envy him.

we live and learn.

but we don't live forever i'm pretty sure