I Remain 'Los

I have thought a lot about putting this up, and I actually almost forgot what day it was. Like, my brain literally represses so many things about this month and even the month itself in some cases. I don't know how many of you can say you've realized something you've repressed, but its a realization I can only describe as "Baffling".

Here's to you dad. Here's to how ever long I have to go feeling this way.

I've been awake for some time now,

Waiting to feel this basking glow.

They said your always here

But not even hope can fill the hole.

Yeah, you're constantly reminding,

Every morning has its end.

I didn't just lose my dad that day,

But I lost my very first friend.

See, when you packed up I noticed something,

I was lost in my own house.

I'm thinking out the reasons

To why I should try and shut you out.

I'm just waiting for time to catch you

Or to realize it was all a dream.

I know you didn't want to go

But that's the only way it seemed.

I remember the way you laughed

I try to laugh that way too

There's no way to comprehend this notion

That they'll never be another you.

So leave us with a memory,

another voice to fill the space.

I see you when i'm sleeping

and that's the dream i've always chased.

I'm just waiting here to find you with me.

Just waiting here to see you come back home.

You should hear the way my heart breaks

when your daughter say's "daddy" on the phone.

I know you're happier in Heaven

But if you were here, i'd be happy too.

Find some time to talk to me,

Let me know what you've been up to.

Keep away the demons in the sky at night

Keep them away from all my sleep

The memories of who you used to be

Are the hardest ones to keep.

Now every day is a new day,

But i'll always want you back.

They say you remember that day,

But I find myself losing track.

With no answers, its only easy

To blame myself to death

I'm sure i'll only stop

When I too am laid to rest

I'll tell my children stories

But they'll never understand

How pain could the heart of me

When it's all just Gods plan

This hollowed chest of mine

Well, it was full when we did start

This is the way that souls do live

When two of them are torn apart.

So goodnight, and goodbye.

So long, and goodbye.

I said I wouldn't

but I sure did cry.